Although this has been the most challenging, earth shattering, out of nowhere, etc, etc, etc, week of my life thus far, there is one thing I truly am aware of.
I am loved.
This really goes without saying. I know I am the beloved daughter of the King and am loved more than I even know. However, I have never seen, felt, touched, or experienced so much love from friends, family, co-workers, and even strangers ever in my life.
I have gotten NUMEROUS phone calls (even personal phone calls from physicians/providers), letters, flowers, hugs, tears, prayers, close conversations, etc. since last Wednesday.
Wow... last Wednesday. I didn't even realize that today marks 1 week of knowing. Knowing that our lives have been and will be drastically different than we thought.
It has been such a weight and burden, but so much good has come from it too. Don't get me wrong. One night I was so devastated and almost.... claustrophobic? that I somewhat had a mental conniption fit. It was too overwhelming. Too much to handle. Too lonely.
But back to the good...
My faith in the Lord has... exponentially increased to say the least. Praying, reading, meditating, crying out, weeping, rejoicing, memorizing... all things. If anyone has any scripture that they have held close to their heart during times of trouble, I would love to know it. I am trying to read and memorize when I come across something that I need to have written on my heart in order to get through this. But I can only get through so much, so I would love a cliff notes edition of "these verses really empower, strengthen, get you through, trust in the Lord, etc."
People have never been nearer. Although I can go to work to a hospital full of people and still feel so alone, the people who know what is going on have really rallied around our family. I can not thank all of you enough. I feel so loved and blessed to have all of you. You will never know how much I love and appreciate every one of you.
It has brought our family unit closer. We are mirroring what the Lord wants for our family. We are trust and relying on him and loving each other in the process. It is so beautiful and refreshing.
Although my life has been filled with phone calls, waiting on hold, tears of sorrow, never ending kleenex, stress, and mourning for the last week, there is always good. And best of all, the Lord is who he is, so who are we to question him? We are but humble servants sent here to love, serve him, and do His will. I pray that I keep that in my line of sight as we move treacherously forward.